jerrloves

2008-11-30T23:29:00.000+08:00

2008-05-18T02:34:00.002+08:00

tell you sth, omg i'm soooooooooooo missing the one who calls me a pig..

i havent seen her for like.. lemme count, 2 months? since ade's bday, YES YES EXACTLY TWO FULL MONTHS!

as compared to others ( i mean other humans, not creatures) its alr very short i know, gj hasnt seen her for 10 months.. WOAH.

not much stuff to update for now, life has been ok.. yea and i've quit my job at flyer alr.

oh ya! i'm beginning to share my heart with two new artiste, other than ahzi, BUT BUT BUT! they are of diff category which means they are at diff areas of my heart, so its FAIR! haha(:

ok thats all for the random crap, no one reads anyway.

here's a nice pic of her(:i love her smile :D

2008-04-22T14:04:00.002+08:00

ooh ooh, i see webs on my blog.

life has been busy, working.. yea i havent watched tv for almost a week alr, cos i'll usually reach home at 11+. Work has been fine, but it just needs some fine tuning here and there, on my way to get used to this new workplace.

then then sch started ystd, seriously the environment is not very good, and the class kinda suck. But well, i shall stay as a loner and finish up this module FAST. haha. imagine a class with no one putting their hp to silent mode, pple coming in to class at 5 when class starts at 3.15, pple going for a half hour break when the lecturer said 15 mins. LIKE WAD THE HELL RIGHT?!?! CB CHICKENS ( okay i'm sorry for this vulgarity)
but thats wad a pte sch is like, isnt it?

so i spent my time in sch thinking abt other stuff. I know its bad, but the lecturer spent half the time talking crap. People ard me has been doing or have already done sth for that special person, like eve doing a forum for pa, aud doing a forum for yvonne, and bee doing a forum for ruien etc, so what can i do for her?

ok nvm, i'll not cont to prob abt this thing here, i gotta go get ready for sch, tada..

2008-03-31T13:26:00.002+08:00

yay, i've finally finished my big proj thing and its safely in her hands alr, and being smart me, i forgot to take pics of it.. haha

i hope that book brings back nice memories and not sad memories for her, it wasnt easy to listen and write down everything due to my poor chi WRITING standard (ahem, i got A1 for my chi, just that i suck at writing) anw, i'll just hope that she'll like it! all my heart and blood are inside la..

and anw, i went for an interview earlier before i met her to pass her the thing, i went to interview for flyer. just when i tot my hopes were crashed for that, they called for an interview, and smartly i got another job training starting on wed. they havent called me for cfmation, but i do seriously hope the flyer doesnt fly away.

i'll prefer this job to the other la, and being smart me again, i didnt ans his interview qns correctly, he asked wad do i know abt flyer, i didnt say the things i know, i said the things i didnt know. SMART RIGHT? yes i know i am. :(

oh i had this nice theory of putting a pooh bear in my car and safety belt in front of the passenger seat when i'm driving alone so that i wont feel lonely got rebuked by eve and my mom. They said it was a lame thing, BUT BUT BUT! i found another person who got the same thinking as me, or rather she did that when her teddy was in her car.. thanks ahyi, u saved me(:

2008-03-22T21:12:00.004+08:00

seriously, i hate it when pple not treat sth that someone planned seriously. I really hate doing all these bloody asshole shit jobs for pple who does not appreciate it AT ALL.

i said meeting time at 1pm, ONE PM, is it that diff to read english? i'm ok if u're late for ard 15mins, things do crop up at times, i understand, but you're bloody hell at outram park when someone called u at 1.20pm? do u ever give others respect? or rather do u bloody hell give this damn gathering a respect?

then subsequently pple called at 1pm+ to say that ' oh sorry i cant make it down last min' oh fu*k off la..

and in the end, it ended up with 3 poor humans and 3 freaks, when 10 was suppose to appear.

i'm not saying anymore, cos i dont want to waste my blog space on those freaks, i bet she felt wierd as well, but i've tried my best alr, to get those whom she didnt see for long, those whom she would want to catch up with, but they didnt make the effort to, so i still hope she's happy with it.

anw, went timbre last night with 6/1 friends. its really a nice place to hang out, i love ambience, with live bands playing, and having a nice cup of drink. But pple ard dont me dont go drinking that often, so i doubt i'll hang out there often..
www.timbre.com.sg

oh and a really nice thing happen there, there was a guy celebrating his gf's bday and he surprised her by inviting the band to sing her a bday song( rock ver) and her frens walked in with a cake to surprise her! although its a really simple thing, she was so touched that she cried la!

Sometimes simple stuff makes one happy, isnt it? :)

2008-03-21T16:17:00.002+08:00

well well well, its not easy to do sth perfectly. grrr.

i just wanted a good gathering since both sides havent seen each other for long, but but, they last min say they couldnt make it, so wad does it say? it doesnt pay to be good, haha not so serious, but i guess they have to make the effort themselves though..

i've alr gotten the opportunity for them to meet up, if they dont make the effort themselves to come, i cant help it as well right? mayb they have their own reasons, but i just felt sad for the person who wanted to catch up with them

oh wells, its nv nice to plan this kinda thing, i'm only doing it for her, if not i'll just slap the ass upside down of those pple.

oh my big proj has been doing well i suppose, i'm quite happy with it, but it wont be ready tmr, so i still gotta pass it to her some other day..

wish me luck in completing the proj the way i want it to be! :)

2008-03-19T18:02:00.002+08:00

MARRRIAAAAA~

no, i'm not screaming for my maid, i dont have one..
yes its the song that she sang during the asian film awards, and she did it real well! i'm so proud of her, for the vid of her performance, u can go http://blog.omy.sg/yanziunlimited/ to see it..

i didnt really felt that much abt her canto song when i first heard it, i just thought she did it well, but after repeating the song over and over again, i seriously think she can cut a canto album, like wad queen said.. although she might not really understand wad she singing, but she can do canto songs well..

i know i'm abit slow, ystd was ade's and sm's birthday, so qiao right! anw happy belated bday ade and sm! haha

she said my new hairstyle looked girly, like huh? haha and i told her i was proud of her but she didnt believe me at first, wah lau right! but in the end she did, after some assurance from queen, haha but we were really proud of her and she's happy with it:)

i finally got the chance to told her i passed, and the theory of her being on the plane praying for me is more effective cos she's nearer to the gods. And she totally ignored me again. and yes of cos i'm a very zai driver:) hahaha

then meet up with my poly frens, it was nice, it took me a while to reach cos it was at holland v.. haha my car almost rammed onto a curb when i was turning into the carpark, seriously i pity my poor car, it has got a bad owner.. hmmm i shld start being a better owner..

the night was spent well at holland v, and it was nice to see everyone tog again..

and now i have to fret over that book, faints- i hope it turns out well..

marrriaaaa~ oh beh marrriaaaa~ ( i suppose thats how she sang it)

2008-02-20T21:44:00.003+08:00

suddenly we've been seeing alot of her this few weeks, we shld be blessed i suppose. haha

lil K looks exactly like them, haha so cool huh, and i think a sweet big smile beats a thousand words. We didnt talk much, but i think smiles and a short conversation means alot more i suppose. She didnt doubt my age, but she doubt Mian's one, which was quite funny.

Auntie taught us how to steam chicken the nice and easy way, we shld try to cook for her right? haha i think we click better with uncle and auntie..yes! and auntie knows how to praise us, she says my complexion is really good(: ya of cos! haha I guessed the card we gave her speaks a thousand words.. heh and i think the PUI was quite funny.

she wished me two good lucks for my car test! i suppose i can do it with her good luck, and she's so natural to tell me to drive slowly, dont speed. she has the cheek to say that, my goodness. haha. i swear i will fling my license in front of her when i see her the nxt time:)

oh i got a pair of nice gold pumps with ribbon and a ahpooh bedroom slipper!:)

yes i'll either be a ice cream scooper again, or a temporary ahzi 'scarer' haha! we shall see..

2008-02-14T16:21:00.002+08:00

130208
Last night we had a fun time at Lunar for the Wanbao E-award party, she was there for merely half hour to play some funny games and recieve two awards. My ma was the host, and i'm so glad i could get in to see her host again.

Long story on why we were worried that we cant go in, but the bottomline was that we were just too young to get it, but in the end, a 15 year old went in, like how nice can e pple be. haha!

Queen and me went up to play the game with yanzi, with 4 other fans, and i could say my ma needs more training i suppose. haha! ok the game was funny, we were suppose to imitate an animal voice and sing yanzi's song and let her guess it.

queen was the first, she meow-ed wo de ai, and i wanted to meow also cos of some reasons, then then! that yanzi was saying cannot the same, so my ma ask her to choose an animal for me. THEN that yanzi happily looked at me and pointed and said : "ZHU!!!'

ahzi: ZHU!!! (smiling VERY happily)
me: huh? why pig? i dont look like one!
ma: ok la, u do look like a pig!

both of them burst out laughing
me: i'm a human not a pig lo!! i dunno how to snort!
ahzi: okok la, then meow lo
me: aiya ok la, pig then pig la, later u cry

the battle of the two sg lains

then i 'oink oink' kai shi dong le, then she was saying eh, pigs dont oink they snort! and she started snorting, OMG LA!

then the nxt person imitated a snake, so she 'si~ si~' ni guang and he was doing the snake action, yanzi laugh until like siao. Then someone imitated a mouse sqeaking tian hei hei and it was so hilarious! he was so kanjiong that his hands were trembling tog with his mouth, and he had to sqeak out the song.

yanzi gave the HUH?? wad u singing face, then she lean back to ask me and queen wad he singing, then we told her tian hei hei then she was like okok, she was happy ystd la.

then everyone had a signatured shirt and she stayed for a while to recieve two awards then she rush off alr. Due to some help from some nice and sweet pple, we managed to give her wad we wanted to give her, but we were panting like hell when we saw her due to some other reasons..

it was kinda funny when we were all panting and talking to her then we took some pics, eve and mine was the unusual pics, i asked if we could pai gui lian, she looked at me and said NO! then i dun care, i did a gui lian and she did sth more extreme, which we all burst out laughing when we saw the pic.

2008-02-14T15:39:00.002+08:00

Happy Valentines' everyone! I hope you did have a great vday today like me, although its kind of early right now. BUT BUT, it doesnt matter if its short or long if its sweet things happening to you right?? (:

140208
As she happily told us her flight details ystd night, we went to send her off today at T3 for her flight to aust for some performance. She wore her i think is very nice but the others think is not de addidas shoe with shorts and tee, and a oversize cardigan with PURPLE CHANEL SHADES and her MESSY CURLY PERMED HAIR!

she had a bad sinus this morning and was sneezing very unglamly, she went over to a corner to take out her tissue to sneeze and we kept laughing at her cos she looks hilarious, and guess wad! she stuffed the soiled tissue in her HOGAN BAG! omg and queen asked if she permed her hair.

queen: yanzi did u perm your hair?
ahzi: yes i did! its the BOBO hairstyle! (smiling happily)
after 10 mins.......

She came over to us after taking pics with the other grp and asked if we wanted to take pics as well, and being nice us we said ' duwan' haha! cos we took with her ystd alr mah, then we realise there's some who didnt take with her ystd, so ask her again and she nicely said of course cann!

cos there were more pple today at the airport, and she didnt see some of them before.
ahzi: wah new friends ah?
queen: hallo they have always been ur fans la, how long u chu dao alr?
ahzi: seven
us: no, eight la!
ahzi: DIAO
ahzi: ay, dont scare ur new friends

then she saw candice and she thought she was 12 la! omg, then queen said she was 12 and ahzi shoot her back, then i said i'm 10 and ahzi just ignored me, haix... haha!

then they took pics and the three of us were busy commenting on her bobo hairstyle cos it was kinda bad, her stubborn fringe made her look funny. and she was busying trying to make it better, and she did make it better after a while, but it only lasted for a second cos i said ' NO! very messy! your hair there la..' then she did sth to her hair again which turn out bad. OOPS. haha

then eve showed her the pics we took ystd, cos she printed out for her, then eve was saying hey yanzi look at the funny pics we took ystd, then she see see the first few pics and said okay wad, then eve was telling her hao xi zai hou tou, then when she saw my pic, she laughed la! and cos i signed for her, so she said ' oh u sign for me ah? thanks' then she carried on looking at eve's and she laughed too.

then queen gave her a essence she got from Egypt

queen: yanzi this is for you
ahzi: oh food ah?
eve: eh not everything also food can! eat eat eat
queen: no la! its an essence i got from egypt
me: ya she wants to prove that she went to egypt, see we nv bluff u
ahzi: ok so how's egypt?
then the both of them continued talking

then she had to rush off in, not to board the plane but to eat breakfast!
ahzi: eh faster abit can, i haven eat breakfast, wanna go in and eat
us: huh got time meh?
ahzi: can la, chop chop lo

ya then she had to leave, so she took her hogan bag and all the barangs and walked into the security door there, then queen and i was saying we'll be nice today to give her a hug since its vday, so we went up to her
us: yanzi, today vday leh, we wanna give u sth nice
ahzi: huh wad?
us: hug la! we give u hug!
ahzi: hug? huh duwan la, later i have to hug all of them as well!
then i kept tugging and pulling her bag and teh-ing to her la..
then she came over and put her hands on my shoulder, then she went to hug queen( wah lau so unfair right?) then i told her, no is we hug u, so after hugging queen, she came over and stood there to let me hug.. tsk unfair!

then i told her to bring some nougats back for us, then she pondered for a while, i thought she was really thinking whether to bring back not, but she was thinking of the word pronunciation, then she said ' huh not 'no-gar' meh?' then i said i dunno, then she went in, and we laughed when she had to take out her omg so not nice chanel purple sunglass for the immigration gal to see. goodness.

So it has been a sweet vday for me, since i got some rochers from ade ystd, and a pack of laughters and hugs today at the airport(:

2008-01-14T23:19:00.000+08:00

First Post

Hey Jude by her

Hey Jude, don't make it bad.
Take a sad song and make it better.
Remember to let her into your heart,
Then you can start to make it better.

Hey Jude, don't be afraid.
You were made to go out and get her.
The minute you let her under your skin,
Then you begin to make it better.

And anytime you feel the pain, hey Jude, refrain,
Don't carry the world upon your shoulders.
For well you know that it's a fool who plays it cool
By making his world a little colder.

Hey Jude, don't let me down.
You have found her, now go and get her.
Remember to let her into your heart,
Then you can start to make it better.

So let it out and let it in, hey Jude, begin,
You're waiting for someone to perform with.
And don't you know that it's just you, hey Jude, you'll do,
The movement you need is on your shoulder.

Hey Jude, don't make it bad.
Take a sad song and make it better.
Remember to let her under your skin,
Then you'll begin to make it
Better better better better better better, oh.

Na Na Na Na Na Na, Na Na Na, hey Jude...

2008-01-14T23:02:00.000+08:00

it has been a year since i blogged! okay thats not very funny, no one reads anyway wad. tsk.

alrights, what has been happening in my life now? erm, banal is the word to describe it? but i'm starting work on wed, then i'm really gg for my wakeboarding and boxing lessons soon this few weeks with my couz.

went over to jb ystd for her mini concert which lasted for 4 hrs but she sang for 1hr only, the other 3 hours were just games and drums performance by the msian pple which really drummed hard into our poor ears, and for dunno wad reason, both of my knees very feeling so cramped till i really felt like doing sth very extreme.

well well, i managed to get a quite good seat, except that i was too tiny compared to the one sitting in front of me, but the recording of the whole thing in eve's vcam was good. Mayb i shld just quit the fc comm and be the fc's photographer cum vcamer.. sounds good right??hmmm

the whole concert was not bad except that i couldnt really breathe in fresh air cos there were oil clots and smelly stuff rolling ard me.. queen got the chance to go up stage and do sth with her, for more info please refer to her blog. hahaha

sometimes sometimes i really really wonder, if i shld just let everyth go and not care that much? but i suppose she'll miss me if i let her go.. hahaha

and ya, she's getting better and better now during live concerts, not that she's not good before, but she's really doing it her own way with her own style and capturing fans hearts one by one(:

her live of hey jude rocks :) i mean her singing hey jude alone live rocks, not the jb ver.

2007-12-21T22:13:00.000+08:00

its been a long time since i updated hahahaha..

it has been long since i saw yanzi as well, it was like a full 4hrs plus of her ystd. Although the recording was real real tiring, but it was all worthwhile(:

I got diao-ed ( as usual) alot of times and stared a few times. I said i wanted to leave since she didnt want to gimme discount until 3 bucks, and she stared at me, and she asked everyone to stare at me as well.

she diaoed me cos i ask her to read a side of the paper bag cos my msg is there, she diaoed me when i said her neh was small, she diaoed me when i said we know she missed us, she diaoed me when i scream awfully. She laughed at us when we told her the balloon was queen, she laughed when i told her queen went egypt to film tuo guang instead of niguang.

She gave us kisses when we said she's in our heart, she gave another kiss when we hold the muacks board, and she gave kiss when i was crapping with her( i forgot which incident alr)

she did sth and she said it look obseen, we told her not to think dirty cos we're still underaged, i told her to give us discount for the '500 bucks tickets', she looked directly into our eyes for some incident, she brightened up when we told her we have got cookies for her ( see, we can subdued her with food(:), she looked at us when singing ng and first day for our actions..

she 'shua da pai' when she has to re-record cos there was some technical prob, she went crazy posing sexy pics during breaks and before coming out, she finally could understand eve's hand signals, she stoned and i woke her up and she stared at me..

she was very close to us during the cookies time, she looked into my eyes during sometimes love just aint enough, ng and whnd, and i got got dian-ed by her. she sang woh woh yea yea~ twice and we said thanks and she huh us.

these are the stuff i could remember, but i cant remember all the craps i talked to her abt. haha but there was one thing she said very true ystd, she told me ' you very happy today hor?' yes i am yanzi, cos u made my day(:

thanks yanzi, u made our xmas extra happy this year ( and last year)!

2007-12-07T14:58:00.001+08:00

what would u say to santa if he asks u wad do u want for xmas this year?

i know its lame, but i've always believe that there's santa in this world, haha

if he asks me this, i wouldnt know how to ans him, cos i dun even know wad i wan. Happiness? Love? Peace? I think i would want myself to be back.

I've gotten stuff for my family, now its for the gals, the guy and the family. But i dunno wad to give them cos i feel that wadever i give them cannot make up to the misery i gave them, esp the gals.

Sorry cant make up for those disappointment i gave them, I dunno wad else I can do.

Mayb its not time to think of wad i wan, i shld think of wad to do.

i shall end abruptly.

2007-12-04T22:54:00.000+08:00

alot of different feelings these few days, i'm a confused girl. haha

i felt that love wasnt easy to come, or rather those relationship wasnt easy to come by. These few years has been down, but i'm lucky to have gained all those love and concern from those special people (:

i seriously hope to get well, money can get u sth, but not everyth.

working tmr, i shall not preach too much, i need another more private space.

2007-11-29T00:03:00.000+08:00

yay another post up again like after such a long time, but not really very long.

anw, hav been thinking of things that i wanna fufill, things i wanna learn during this time.

1. muay thai
2.electric guitar/ drums
3.wakeboard
4.diving
5.photography
6.baking

wah there seem to be alot of stuff i wanna learn, but i think its time to go realise my dreams, cos i failed to do so for the past few years, no time to lose anymore!

fri's gonna be a fun day ( i hope!!), sat as well ( i hope sooooo too!)

yea my practical test is on the 29th feb 08, woah it'll be nice if i pass on that day(: i'm sure i will! haha

i wanna drive a yellow car!!!!!!!!!( not taxi please..)

yellow toyota rush mayb?
SJM 1407T
yea thats my car(:

2007-11-21T01:27:00.000+08:00

saying goodbye isnt easy

yes i bade goodbye to them, i bade goodbye to TAS, i bade goodbye to my projs, i bade goodbye to my notes.

it wasnt easy

it was a yes-no,no-yes option for me. i dunno if the road i chose was correct, but i guess i hav to make it correct.

find myself back, complete and fufill tasks that i wanna finish, rest, be myself and cont the journey afresh, thats all i could, and have to do.

goodbye and hello.

2007-10-28T17:03:00.000+08:00

er hem, i've decided not to post the zoo post alr, cos its like soooo long ago. hahaha

sha ystd, she won 6 awards and two related awards, not bad la, or rather, WAH SO MANY AWARDS LEH!

she wasnt very in shape ystd, cos she was running a cold, and she's like so in a daze, i couldnt help laughing at her whn she stood on stage in a daze for a few seconds not knowing wad to do. poor her, mayb she was very tired and plus her cold, that makes her into a not very in shape sunyanzi. haha

she wasnt very herself ystd la, due to all those reasons, her thank you speech was the shortest of all, but luckily she didnt piak when she sang whnd la..

i miss her smile, haha and i'll remember the one that she gave us when she was singing. omg, that could cover up all the things she didnt do to us ystd alr.

and i suddenly hav a urge to buy a SLR, to take pics and record down the stuff that i enjoy, to capture her smile, to capture their smile as well. My memory is failing. haha!

okays, i'm havin a headache now. urgggh.

2007-10-02T17:43:00.000+08:00

ignore my previous post ya??

zoo zoo zoo post coming up!

2007-09-27T01:33:00.000+08:00

and all these ends it all;

mayb it was all a wrong move, mayb it was wrong for me to be here

sorry to hav let u guys down, i know u're always there, i know u love me, i wouldnt hav been able to smile these days w/o you guys.

not gg later means the end of everyth, i know i can pass, but i just couldnt convince myself to do so. it'll be a wrong step i know, i will regret it, i know.

i'll be lying awake till the morning comes

and thanks for loving a failure, she loves u guys too.

2007-09-25T01:23:00.000+08:00

omg!!i wanna scream at yanzi for copying me!! hahahah, cos she cut the same hairstyle as me! and she cut it one day after me ( i think!!!)see! she also cut her hair short with bob style, tucking one side of her hair behind her ears, and the other side left out.

mine also lo! hahahahaha..

see this cute lil baby girl??? she's Valencia!

my mum takes care of her in the day, she can scream as well as me!!

i stole one of her diapers for my tigger.. shhhhh

特务JM in action(: [dun try guessing who she is, she cannot expose her identity!]

2007-09-14T16:06:00.000+08:00

yay!! it was a very nice surprise for ahyi!!! and it was well done la (:

it was a really fun and crazy night ystd, we reached at abt 7 and we stayed in the room to do the banner and blow those deformed heart shaped balloons that were so lousy that we burst almost a packet of it while blowing. my face was slapped by the stupid balloon twice la! and some didnt turn out like a heart shaped, i dunno why.

then ivy came and she started to blow the balloons as well, but both turned out odd-shaped which resembled erm the bottom of a female cow.. then david yeye and yizhang came with a super big present for ahyi, which we spend like 1 hr plus guessing wads the present in the room. we were very serious in guessing what the present is, but david yeye just kept doing lame things, and in the end, we realised david yeye actually knows wad the present is!

as we were too hungry, we started ordering and eating! cos the others were late, we couldnt proceed on with surprise 1, so eve brought ahyi into the room and she caught us eating alr!oops! ya then we started eating without the rest, and soon, the others arrive.

then then.. we started eating and finally it was surprise 2! we ask ahyi to use her mouth to pull down the string of the banner, but apparently she was too short to do so, and it was damn hilarious. okays then the banner was revealed, the book was revealed, ahyi cried cos she was happy and touched (:

then annoucing of sponsors and stuff, we made it known to others that we sponsored.. with our special unique way. then eat again, then yizhang's present to ahyi, she cried again cos it was such a sweet present..

OMG I WAN A BF AS SWEET AS YIZHANG LA!!

then it was the cake and wishes la, with our cards and the cute cute princess birthday party hat. and of cos, the ever so entertaining singing balloon. i dunno how many thousand times i tapped that balloon la.. the ever so entertaining singing balloon which sings
for everyone when they enter the room.

ahyi was crying when she saw the book

aiyo, the sooooooooo swweet yizhang with his
present for ahyi

happy ahyi with our omg sooooooooo nice card!!

the damn crazy and loud yam sengs we had!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY OUR DEAREST AND SWEET AHYI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the not so well done group pic..
(bleah my photoshop skills have to be polished)

and so we are, always that smart, we forgot to take a group picture! so we can only use photoshop to do it.. but... we do have a not so exact group pic without eve and junli though.. HALLO QUEEN! SEND IT TO US QUICK!!!!

2007-09-11T18:26:00.000+08:00

yay! its the end of the 7th month, and here comes the mooncake month! hahahahaha

it was a crazy day or rather a crazy night ystd, we went conty to bid for a bucket of very expensive rice. It was priced so high due to a ton of reasons which includes, the rice bucket was very expensive cos its made of plastic and the marker lost quite a bit of ink after she finish signing la..

and after that, we watched him record stuff, and we took pics all ard , we acted as if we were the 特别来宾 for his show and oh ya! ahyi came in, and guess wad! ah huay and i squated down at the door and booed ahyi! thats not the point, but the point is, she didnt really got a shock leh! and nice 爷爷 gave us kit kats! okay i admit that i took one extra piece(: then i realised!!!!

then it was steamboat(again!) and seriously he's so dirty la! why did i have such a dirty minded pa? tsk.

2007-09-04T03:07:00.000+08:00

eeyer! see she so scary!!

the manager loves my idol (eeww)

through thick and thin:) we'll be tog

see how perception can deceive

see how distorted this world can be

see how people can see the wrong people

see how others can distort others

see how ur angle of view changes ur perception

actually it is perfectly alright

but yes i still love you(:

you get it? i'm sure clever ones will do :)

how perception, personal views and grudges changes how u look and treat others. the world or the truth or reality can be easily distorted, just a simple action will do ( like i can use my phone to distort) but beneath every distorted fact, lies the true fact - the truth will come to light one day.

2007-08-29T18:38:00.001+08:00

maybe i really chose the wrong route, there's no turning back alr.

if i were to leave, will u drop a tear for me?
if i were to leave, will u grieve?
if i were to leave, will u remember me?

2007-08-23T01:42:00.000+08:00

i'm back to blog again.. haha i guess stuff has been improving, i suppose i have better control over myself now alr but i'm still confused over some stuff.. aiya i shall see wad the doc says tmr then.

anw i just had a chat with her after so long, it was a nice feeling again, we crapped from wad ahzi will perform this sat, to jay being my fren who sms me a few days ago, to i will be the lead actress for jay's movie 2 years later cos he's waiting for me to grad then he will film a movie with me, to him telling me that he's happy abt the results of secret cos i went to watch it.. oh it was pure crap, but she could carry on with me.. haha!

then there was me saying it was so diff to be able to talk to her, to nv see her for so long, then to her working in the casino when she quits her current job to bribing her to tell me wad special thing ahzi will perform this sat and we ended our conver with ya ya ya ya s cos i was saying i look nice and she said cos i look cute and pretty.. haha!

i could say that i could chat well with her and we do get along well, but u know, some stuff just makes me ponder alot and make me feel if i shld talk to her not.. what i can say is that u wun feel much if u are not the victim, but u'll get affected by that victim..

aiya, this is confusing, but nvm i suppose things will go its way eventually.

and i suppose history cant repeat itself, cos wads lost is alr lost, mayb its time to let it go, but it feels that wads lost seems to be the one for me.

ok, dun dwell on it alr, be well.

are u back? come back fast yea? i miss u alot, and i guess they do miss u as well, and only i can find u back. thats wad queen told me(:

its gonna be a crazy sat!! and a confusing fri ..

2007-08-17T01:00:00.000+08:00

i hope things are getting better and better, and not bad to worst, i guess i'll be alright or at least i hope i'll be alright..

many words are left unspoken, and i didnt know how to spell it out to someone, mayb thats how fate wanted me to be like, and i guess i'll hav to accept it.

you know, i've always been a perfectionist and a workaholic, regardless of sch or at work, my frens have seen the extreme side of me rushing and doing work, but all these seems to be just my memories, it doesnt reflect how i am like now.

mayb one day, i'll be the same old me again, let time heal everything and let me regain my own confidence, give me a chance to do that will you? i dislike how i am like now, and i want the old me back again.

and thanks for that few pple who spurred me on, thanks for everything. we'll be alright yea? (: i love them cos they understand and they dun misunderstand or ignore me, they're always here for me, i think we grew stronger after knowing her, she is one main reason which keeps us going(:

trusting the love we feel, trusting the love thats real;

2007-08-13T00:54:00.000+08:00

i guess we could never be that close as i thought we can be.

you guys were the ones i trusted most, the ones which i went through most hardships with, the ones which brought me up when i fell, but there's always a gap no matter what. i dont blame you guys, cos i know i aint a good one either.

everyone has their own secrets, their own thinking and their own little story that is hidden beneath, i will nv get to know them, i will never get to see them. But i respect your privacy, its just that i'm still sad over that i cant be the one that is the closest to you, i still cant find one yet.

sisters is what we always call each other, i suppose we are that close, we dunit calls and smses everyday to prove that we are close. But i suppose both of us are too similar in some ways, both of us will feel the same way under some circumstances, but i suppose there is still another sister there for us(:

why am i saying all these? i dunno why also, just felt a lil here and there, i just need time to get over stuff and carry on, i just needed someone to care and be here for me.

sometimes there are liars all ard, but i suppose they didnt lie to me delibrately, but you know, when u're down u'll just feel that no one in this world keeps their promises to u, cos they didnt know how much their promises mean to u. what i can say is, they mean alot to me, cos they are the reasons that can convince me to be happy, they are the only reasons.

you said we'll hav lunch one day last month;
you said you'll do sth for me last month;
you said u'll give me your two cents;
you said you'll be here for me no matter what;
you said you'll get that for me;
you said you'll change so that i can change too;
but all those were lies till now, cos it wasnt fufilled yet. i'll wait for the day you fufill your promise to me.

my hand hurts;

2007-08-08T00:51:00.000+08:00

ooh, it has been long since i updated here, someone commented that i blog every once a month, oh wells...

wad has been going on for the past month? er i'm not sure, i forgot, oh details of my bday stuff will be put up when i have more free time, and when the pics are sent to me.

today wasnt that well i guess, presentation was bad, i know i wasnt up to my own standard, i know cos she is missing, she would not give herself any chance to do badly, she would do things well and up to her standard, but i guess she was missing from me..

well, i shall stop alr, cos there are some things which i cannot put here, and for those who are reading this, please help me pray that she will come back to me soon alright??

find yourself back jm;

2007-07-12T00:32:00.000+08:00

omg, i'm on the verge of breaking alr la!!!!!!!!!

tto proj is driving me mad, real mad. a group of initial 5 pple, ended up with 4 pple doing the work while the other is missing to some other space out of this world. The progression of the work is slow, dateline is next FRIDAY!!

omg,omg.. its one more week. omg omg..

faint faint faint faint-

i suppose i have no chance to remind her my birthday is coming already. She's out of touch from us.. i hope she's well la.

i kept telling myself i have to be happy this week, cos its my day on saturday! i shld not let anyth other thing bring me down, i shld enjoy this day right?? but.. things aint always so smooth like how u wanted it..
.
be strong jiamin!

2007-07-01T16:27:00.000+08:00

damn, its all crap yea?

who will believe me yea? u'll just think its just another load of crap and shit coming out from my mouth just to cover up for the things that i've done and not done.

u said u'll walk me through, crap.
why bring me up so high and drop me down again?

the bomb will either explode, or it'll just die off. the only way of ranting is out is not the ideal way, nor its the right way, but thats the only way i can rant out alone.

my phone got lost in my house for a day, crap. it was in my damn cupboard for whatever reason.

its july and i'm still like this, it would be the same as last year yet again.

dun listen to my crap then, just let it be. soon u'll not see me anymore.

2007-06-25T23:27:00.001+08:00

die die die.. i'm so gonna die this friday.

i'm A/H at Top Table and there's proficiency test. i'm so suck at SSM.

i havent been to 2 SSM lsns before the term break and i was absent too for the practice class during sch break. i know nth abt setting tables, clearing tables and serving others. i'm so f*cked up.

i just felt like stabbing myself in the heart and let it bled till i die. i'm so afraid and biased against SSM for some shit reason. Cos i hate waitressing, but thats one of the skills i gotta learn since i'm a H&T student!

but damn me, i just couldnt pluck up any courage to face the reality. i cant run away forever, but i'll just fluck my test. damn me. i hate myself, seriously.

i dunno how to let out all the stuff tts bothering me, i'll just burst one day, and the day seems near. Someone help please, i'm tearing apart.

2007-06-20T03:27:00.000+08:00

there was this nice nice rainbow outside my house a few days ago, it was a clear rainbow, i could see the red, yellow. blue colours.. haha so nice! and it fits the colour of the sky too!!

oh i went swimming with joan on monday! the sun wasnt very strong, but i got a lil tanned la.. the irritating thing is my back was evenly tanned, but my stomach wasnt the same tan colour as my back! it's like lighter.. grrrr..

we swam like 12 laps in the pool, i've nv felt so nice before, haha, i think cos i finally exercised. ha then went to the library, yes u didnt see wrongly! I WENT TO THE LIBRARY! to borrow books on dubai la.. but well, nth was found there although they were not on loan, thats the thing i hate abt libraries.

and guess wad! the sky was soooooooo scary when i step out..

it looks abit like... erm.. i dunno how to describe it. haha!

went to some ulu library at bukit merah( i think!) today and i got all the books i needed for my dubai!! hahahahaha and i found one dive guide.. so cool, i wanna start diving soooooon!!

i'm hardworking eh!

oooh, the days are passing quickly, i wanna learn driving soooooon!!!!!!!!!

oh let me end off with a randomn one, looks like sth is boiling underneath, things aint gg well..

2007-06-16T13:30:00.000+08:00

i have a feeling my head will just burst soon, really soon.

i've been getting my headaches frequently, or well almost everyday. i know it could be due to the irregular timings i have, but urrhh, i tried to switch back alr.

i know the life i'm having now is bad, i sleep at 4am and wakes up at 2pm the nxt day. but i've been slpin early these few days alr, from as early as 10pm. i tried switching my timing back, so i slept at 10 on thurs, i wanted to wake up at like 9 sth, but what the hell! i woke up at 2 without my knowing it at all.

i cant seem to wake up when i want to. i hope nth's happening to me. oh and those #$%^&* contractors are drilling my head off with their constant drilling and knocking and whatever la at the 6th floor for two weeks alr.

i've been like getting constant bodyaches here and there with some never ending sneezing, i shld exercise soon, yea wait till my shoes are here, i have special feets, so i need special shoes to run, if not i'll just exercise on the wheelchair then.

okay, lets hope for a better and healthier jiamin back.

2007-06-13T03:06:00.000+08:00

i'm here again. haha!

i'm so tired with all the research, so decided to take a break and flee here to blog!

just finish listening to the last episode of yyrj and ssey, just happen to find tt cd tt queen burn for me i think. haha! i miss those times seriously. i've decided to do sth for ma, but its gonna be hard work i think!

these few days has been funny, i met up with both my sec sch and pri sch friends. it was like great la! tues night was with ym,naima,manel, boon & elvis, it was a surprise for ym. she's still as loud as before, we could hear her scream from 13th floor, not bad huh! we arranged lightsticks into happy bday in chi on the road below her block and asked her to look down. then she screamed! we could hear her la.. haha!

it was a short meet up, but fun la, i miss those times.. haha!

today night was with 6/1 peeps, it has been years since i saw them la! no one changed la i think, we all still look the same after 6 years. haha! dinner at billy bombers, i was damn full la! dunno why. haha

i think it was a great gathering la, and i recieved my first bday present from gavan! hahahahah he drew happy birthday and a huge cake for me on the tissue paper. hahahaha, wait till our next meet up with ms swee!

i kinda miss those times i had last time, all the innocent and pure love between all of us. no backstabbing, no tears, no misunderstandings, no quarrels, only pure love. seriously.

is it that as one grows older, more things starts to pile up, and no more of havin innocent life?

i dunno, i just hope everyth clears off soon, afterall, we're all loving the same person isnt it?

oh she said my ET shirt was cute!!!(: dinner nxt time k gal?(:

2007-06-10T01:13:00.000+08:00

yea another entry today again!!!!

oh happy 7th anniversary my dear ahzi! it has been 7 years since she stepped into the circle, it has been 5 long years of chasing. These number of years will keep on counting like how the time would never stop.i swear (:

oh i baked raspberry cheese brownies today, aint that nice as compared to those professionally made, but its nice and edible! it doesnt look very appealing, but the taste is nice, i promise.haha! thanks to those who came over to help out with the baking of those brownies for her.

it looks like those fudging choc brownies right?

i'm proud of it!!

half for her, half for us (:

things has been getting confusing lately. well i'm sure it will get well soon after the mist is cleared, or when we start to take a closer look at the people ard us. We have to learn to be responsible of our own actions. Sometimes what you do might just pissed people off, sometimes it must just triggle off the start of a misunderstanding.

woah, i sound like the other her.

2007-06-08T00:45:00.000+08:00

you know, its rare that i update here. or rather update any of my blogs.ha

i've been letting my brain free these few days, i'll think of anyth under the sun, from what will i look like if i become an air stewardess to some serious thinking of what do i really want now.

of cos some people say u can know a person by looking at what she wants, and you'll know how the person is. i shall list down what i want, then let anyone who passes by this entry to decide what kinda person i am.

i want:
some big cuddly bear which i can hug fully
when there's no one ard for u to cry on or hug, u can go squeeze that big bear.haha!

one big bright coloured bag
so that i wun get knocked down by cars, i'm so scared of the roads la!

plenty of shorts
i realise i only have 3 pairs of long pants. heh heh, i hate my legs to be covered.

alot of pictures taken and developed
i love my room to be filled with pictures taken randomly, i even said i wanted a poloraid cam.

the people i love to be happy
i'm sure everyone thinks the same way ba i hope!

see the people i love laugh at my stupid jokes
its nice to see others laugh and smile cos of u right? i think so la.

misunderstandings to be cleared
this is just very randomn

aiyo this is like so randomn la, okay pardon me for this randomn entry. haha! so what kind of person do u think i am???? (:

thats not all the things that i want la, still got alot more.. hahahahha

2007-05-27T15:05:00.001+08:00

ooh i'm finally back here to blog after sooooooooo long. not that long la, i just moved over to my new house, so i just regained my internet access, so i'm back online!

life has be OKAY la. except for those occasional sickness here and there, and guess wad, i've been on MC for like erm.. 3 days in sch.

mc on wed was cos i was down with flu and i thought it will be okay on thurs alr, but who knows, i went to see a #$%^& doc, ( well i just moved over, so dunno which doc is good) so i went in to the clinic with aircon. He's really #$%^&. He just ask me what is bothering me, then he gave me medicine, and before i knew it, i was out of the room alr. wow, what a great doc.

then the best has yet to come, i told him i wasnt feeling well with my gastric alr, i dunno if he just didnt want to care, or he's just deaf or sth. then oh yea, he didnt give me any gastric medicine and cool, i kena gastric flu on thurs.

for the first time, i didnt eat anyth leh! you know, i cant live without eating alot a day, but i just didnt eat anyth on thurs cos i'll puke out wadever i ate. so i stayed in my room and in the toliet for the whole day. i didnt believe i'll puke everyth i ate mah, so i kept on eating, and i kept on puking lor. hur

i was like a dead person on thurs night after numerous stays in the toliet facing the toilet bowl, and the story conts. on fri. and i change doc la, went to a better doc but his clinic got no air con la.. okays thats not the point. i have stopped facing the toilet bowl, but the wierd feeling still churns in my stomach, (mayb there's sth inside)

now i feel so lost rgding sch work la, i'm like absent for soooo long, abit lost here and there. and nxt week is mid sem test alr! i'm having my first paper this sat, what the..

nvm, oh sth to be happy abt, ahzi has got a boyfriend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ( finally)

2007-03-14T21:44:00.000+08:00

i realise i am a very contradicting person.

i duwan to work, but i duwan to rot at home. i wan to work but i also wan to play. i duwan my frens to be unhappy but i duwan myself to be unhappy.

been working for two days, i'm dead tired. seriously. today was a very wrong day from the start.

i woke up earlier, i did extra things during work, my colleague who was suppose to work with me tog at 930 came at 1030, i didnt know my other colleagues well, my guiding suck, my briefing suck, my crowd control suck. everyth juz suck from head to toe, make me damn dejected

i was kinda affected by ah ken ystd whn he told me the news abt project 'SET'. i know i cant be selfish to let ah ken not go for his test and ask him to delay till june. its unfair i know. but i really wanna do the proj earlier, it would be GREAT FUN..

well i know ah ken is sad abt it too, but i cant let him sad alone rite?? later he sad cos he gotta take the test later and also cant do the proj earlier. at least i have one thing less to be sad abt. oh wells, heaven's will i guess.

tw nxt week (: i wanna see my ahzi, and sing the remix ver of ni guang to her.. HAHAH

today's juz a very wrong day, i hope tmr's a better day!

2007-02-28T23:57:00.000+08:00

woah, its been one month and 14 days since i updated here, nth much in life that makes it colourful for me to update, well no one reads afterall. its juz a space where i say my thoughts then..hur..

lotsa things happened lately, my heart broke, my brain went sot..

exams for the past few days, i broke down. POM was alright, mktg drained out my brain cells, F&B i cudnt remember, so i screwed it, econs was worst, everyth was screwed today. i cried in sch while studying econs.

it tiring both physically and mentally, i dun remember slping for the past week, i was mentally exhausted. my mind was in a blank for econs, i cudnt do, F&B, i juz pratically screwed and did everyth wrong. there goes my A..

i pin high hopes on F&B, i wan an A, i duwan past efforts to go down the drain, high A somemore, haiz, its tiring. i shldnt skip classes and study last min, i promise to be good nxt year.

and ahzi too, seems tt we always get into damn shits together. i hope she's alright, time heals wounds and everyth will be alright as time passes. watch the news, she looks damn damn hagged and tired, still gotta be nice in front of tv, damn heartbroken. we werent there for her whn she needs support, but i'm sure she knows we're always here for her.

we juz wanna be there for her, let her know we're there, cos i know how helpless it can be when u need someone to be there, but there isnt any. i duwan her to be the same as me.. haha but well, not to say tt we're very impt and she needs us, but aiyo.. she did say we're impt larh..hahahhhaha

okays, i'm on the verge of breaking down too, i need sleep.. haha may ahzi and me be well!!! may her be more well than me..

2007-02-14T23:39:00.000+08:00

ooh i realise i update monthly! hahah its 14 feb today!:)

five more months to my bdae!!! :D

haven been updating, its kinda cold in here, it doesnt matter, i dun blog for anyone to see, i blog for my own purpose. but well, mayb i need to let some things out. its bugging me for long.

sch has been okay, not that i wanna skip classes, well i dun enjoy skipping classes, but well no one knows or understands. u think i love skipping lecs and tutorials and not knowing wads gg on and gettin a C in the end? i hate Cs, i duwan to get anyth below an B. only As and Bs in my grades, no Cs.

my health has been worst off nowadays, low blood pressure is gettin on my nerves and its gettin lower, hahah majiam like temperature. hur. headaches has been worst, i guess my brain is not functioning well, mayb it'll just die off soon. gastric has been worst too, couldnt really eat alot since that time, i only eat one meal a day, thus leading to almost gastric ulcers. ewwww.

i've slimmed down, hur my shorts are gettin looser,its good isnt it? :)

my heart died, but i'm living on. a dead heart wun stop beating, but it just doesnt have any feelings. it officially died today, 14 feb at 9.48pm.

there's just too many things piling up, i hope i can tide over it. cny nxt week, exams the following week, no Cs, only Bs and As.

i did kinda well for projs this sem, HIGH A for FNB, A for mktg, A for econs, B+ for POM. but my individual marks pulled me down.ha, lousy fella, i aim for A or Z for FNB, A for POM, A for mktg, A for econs although i got a C now. work hard gal.

other things will juz be kept aside, dun let me be alone, i'll start thinkin abt it, they said i have swollen eyes, yea i cried these few nights, i drank too. grrr.

2007-01-14T15:06:00.000+08:00

okays i've decided to blog again cos there's sooo much things running through my mind right now and also last nite, i was juz too lazy to come online and blog ystd nite..

14 jan 07, the date today. 14 jan 06 was the concert which i waited 4 years for, this point of time last year, we're all at the indoor staduim, anticipating the concert tt we've waited years for. ahzi's 06 concert, the concert which i tot would be the best i would ever had since 2002, but it turned out the other way instead.

the sound system suck, ahzi wasnt happy abt it, but she sang and performed well, the security sucks, totally. but i enjoyed her performance though, her 'the moment' and 'ti or or' send my tears flowing down, her ' wo ye ai ni men' at the end made me went crazy..

wah it all seems that it juz happened ystd, well its all memories. tears tend to flow when i listen to her sing ' the moment' live and the first person i would think of is queen, cos her tear glands start to be active at this time too. she cried in front of national tv years ago..haha

i cried even more badly after the concert, not cos i was too emotional, cos i was cheated, i was backstabbed, i went mad. shall not elaborate, 07 would be a better year.

14 jan 07, i've been in the fc for 4 and 1/2 years already. time flies damn quickly.. i would be 18 on 14 july 07, this marks my 5th year in fc too. i joined fc on 14 july 02 during 'leave' auto.. ups and downs in fc makes me think alot, but well, everyth is fine now, i wun bother much abt it.. afterall, all i wanna do, everyth tt i do is for ahzi ((:

was listening to 'start' album ystd and today, realise ahzi could sing el songs well, she should consider having an el album...ahahahah!

sometimes love just aint enough;

i don't wanna lose you, but i don't wanna use you
just to have somebody by my side.
and i don't wanna hate you, i don't wanna take you,
but i don't wanna be the one to cry.

and that don't really matter to anyone anymore.
but like a fool i keep losing my place
and i keep seeing you walk through that door.

but there's a danger in loving somebody too much,
and it's sad when you know it's your heart you can't trust.
there's a reason why people don't stay where they are.
baby, sometimes, love just ain't enough.

now, i could never change you, i don't wanna blame you.
baby, you don't have to take the fall.
yes, i may have hurt you, but i did not desert you.
maybe i just wanna have it all.

it makes a sound like thunder,
it makes me feel like rain.
and like a fool who will never see the truth,
i keep thinking something's gonna change.

but there's a danger in loving somebody too much,
and it's sad when you know it's your heart you can't trust.
there's a reason why people don't stay where they are.
baby, sometimes, love just ain't enough.

and there's no way home, when it's late at night and you're all alone.
are there things that you wanted to say?
do you feel me beside you in your bed,
there beside you, where i used to lay?

and there's a danger in loving somebody too much,
and it's sad when you know it's your heart they can't touch.
there's a reason why people don't stay who they are.
baby, sometimes, love just ain't enough.
baby, sometimes, love... it just ain't enough.

do you feel me? do you know?

its a damn bloody nice song, the lyrics are so well written, ahzi sang it well ((:

2007-01-12T22:52:00.000+08:00

oh i realise i haven been updating for a year! haha cos my last entry was at 2006?? hmmm it has been 12 days past 2007..

the new year has been alright..i suppose..

for the past week, its juz mktg mktg and more mktg projs.. finally its submitted today.. and there's still POM, ECONS, FNB, SOCIO and JAP to go.. wah i realise its still ALOT..

i've been sick for the past week too.. haha very sick.. with me acting like merlion, migraines, throat infection, flu and gastric flu.. woah.. i manage to survive, i didnt die!! kinda alright now, juz tt i've been coughing my lungs out and i sound damn sexy with my low manly voice..

i'm still alive now. ((:

presentation nxt week, more projs deadline to meet, more challenges to come, more happy things to look forward to (i hope!),

i'm not good at words, i've lots of things to say out, but i juz dunno how to put it in words over here, i guess everyone would tend to think alot when they are alone in the room, with only the sound of rain dropping ontoo your window pane and the sound of the air con blowing cold air out. i dunno, but i guess i'm one of them, cos i'm thinkin alot now abt tons of things.

how would it be if there isnt love in this world? no friendships, no love, no care, nth?

oh! and i told my mum a joke, well not really a joke, but juz sth tt came to my mind. i told her i'll marry anyone who buys me a big bear that is up to my wasit level and sings 'dou shi ni' from guang liang to me.. haha, and she says i'm mad.. lol..

想念的心装满的都是你，我的钢琴弹奏的都是你，我的日记写满的都是你的名

the song is really touching, and its bad when u only have one person in mind when u're listening to this song, throughout the entire song, u'll wish tt tt special one would sing/ tell this to you only. onlyhim..

heh dun worry, i aint gettin too emo or sth, but i'll always need an ans for everyth although i know some things will nv have one..

tata, i shall end, medicine is making me drowsy, there's mktg lec tmr morning!

its a new start gal ((:

2006-12-27T01:07:00.000+08:00

oh its one day past boxing day!!!

so what have u gotten for the past xmas? well xmas is not over yet! it lasts for 12 days, so i DO still welcome gifts! hahaha

xmas this year is so diff for me, its sooo filled with love and friendship, and if u do realise, i only remember nice incidents and not %^&* things..

i recieved quite a no. of pressies this year and i'm so happy abt it.. cos its all from pple who loves me and whom i love ((:

this was from ma, my first xmas gift this year! she wans me to write down all the happy and sad things inside the book!((:

this is from pa, a lovely AHPOOH!! he has a very special name! he's called SUNMA!!((:

this is from eve!! another AHPOOH!!

this was from queen, another AHPOOH! and a sleeveless which is in my washer now

this is from fish from our xmas xchange

my forth AHPOOH from agnes!

ahzii and a coin pouch from azni

a AHPOOH plastic bag and a tiny ahpooh beside from patwick!

a puma belt from eve again! i soooo touched..thks!

and there was a box of chocs from huifen which is already in my tummy, a rocher and a merci bar from yanti and avriel.. all in my tummy already..thks all for making my xmas so filled with love!!

its indeed a very nice xmas this year cos i recieved 2 very special msgs from 2 very special someone which i was soooo excited.. one is of cos from ma and the other is from.... ahah i shall not say out..hehe

anw all the love i got is enough to cover all the ^(&Y^%^&*( things tts bothering me.. i'm okay and i'm standing even taller now!!!!!!

and ya guess wad i found!!

it looks exactly like all the sotongs tt pa drew for me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i found it soooooo close tt i almost wanted to buy it but it costs 60 bucks... it looks exactly like all those sotongs tt pa always draw for me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-12-20T00:05:00.000+08:00

i'm like kinda wols to only update now abt ahzi's orchid flower thingy.. but it has left a deep memory inside my heart ((:

it all begin with ms sng, our dearest primary sch cherr from yanziunlimited international primary sch..she was nominated as best teacher that day and WOW, she won the award immediately! and guess wad, she got the best cherr award of the year and the award she recieved was a book and a bouquet of orchids!! she was so happy so she started posing for the camera!

after which, she taught us how to read the book, she opened up her book and asked us to gather around her as she is gonna teach us how to read that book..she wans us to graduate early with flying colours.

the book is about dendrombium stefanie sun, when it bloomed and when it got planted etc.. then all of us crowded around her and she started reading out wad is written in the book, as she was so proud of us that we understood the whole story, she reacted this way..

she's really DAMN proud of us.. ((:

hahahaha i can plot stories well!! and i can change lyrics well!! woohoo!! this is so fun.. ahha i had a GREATTTTTTTTT day tt day, ahzi's sweet, she leaned over while i whispered to her, she looked into my eyes truthfully, the most sincere i've ever seen.. she suaned my HP! and preferred canon camera, she says my hp cam is wols and she smiled to me((:, she's a very true person.

and again, i've realised its nice to bring joy to others, and i felt even happier. this is nice!! wadever it is, i know how i wanna walk now, nth can stop me. good will truimph over bad!!

I HAVE SEEN THROUGH U ALL!! its time to get payback, pple.

anw, my sotry above is nice rite???? :D i think so too!!

2006-12-12T00:02:00.000+08:00

woah, it's been long since i last posted or rather updated here.. juz came online to slack abit, gotta carry on mugging later on!

days has been good i supposed, no sch, no work, but juz pure fun i supposed. sat was couz bdae bash, ystd was queen's bdae celebration at j8, she was happy, we're happy too! its been long since we went for 933 events, ystd one was nice, fond memories came back , but the aftermath was bad, cos loneliness and sad memories came rushing back too. i felt the emptiness cos ma left and i dun see her during events anymore.

my heart was empty although i was happy ystd, i was truly happy, juz tt i miss those days where we all will go out every sat no matter wad, the wonderful memories we all had, it juz comes rushing back. kinda sad larh, to only have the nice warm feeling after sooo long.

anws, read his blog, my heart sank, or rather fell to the bottom, nah both means the same. dunno how to phrase it, i cant bear to let go, but kinda suffer if i dun. wad i feel seems to be how he's feeling too, but its kinda complicated though. our hearts felt the same but for different pple, but not between us.

oh wells, we'll see how everyth goes, time to get back to mugging, xmas is coming, i hope santa reads my blog so he'll fufill some of my wishes!hahahah

a new wallet! a big fluffy bear tt i can hug! a watch! a jacket! a BIG ANGBAO!! haha do santas give angbaos?? i doubt so.. haha lastly to help me unveil the secret that has been lying deep under my heart. i wanna see him soon!

2006-12-01T14:17:00.000+08:00

iHATEyou; seriously.

i hate hyprocrites, i hate pple who wears a mask, i hate pple who do things their way without thinkin of others, i hate pple who do not respect others, i hate pple who act on their own. i juz hate u guys, u guys juz SUCK. fucking bitches.

i juz needa vent out my anger, dun ask me why unless i tell u, i'll keep my cool, dun worry, like wad ma said, true frens are more worth keeping rather than pple like them, dun get too bothered by them cos they juz ruin your life and make u unhappy only.

i'll be okay, we'll see who wins in the end, an eye for an eye, i'll give u all a black eye soon, i promise.

nvm i'm gonna see my ahzi in less than 12 hours time, she's prettier now! and pple, pls eat new mmon brand's fragrant rice, cos my ahzi is the spokesperson for tt! and i saw the advert juz now! its juz not her cos she's too pretty to be her now.hahhaha

will update soon abt ahzi's performance tonight!there'll be fireworks, she'll sing almost 10 songs and xmas songs with accapealla( i dunno how to spell tt). ((:

2006-11-26T22:00:00.000+08:00

oh i haven updated for ten days!haha but life is still the same larh..

woah, my heart sank like dunno till basement wad when i saw and read that whole blog, it hurts, really, worst than u stabbing me.seriously. i dropped tears while reading that, nvm i know how u feel, cos i feel that too. that person was special to u while u were special to me, nvm i'll be okay.

anw, went vivo today to beg pple for receipts to exchange for ahzi's mini concert on fri during vivo's opening ceremony, cos u gotta spend 300 and above in order to exchange for tt, it was fun standing in front of giant supermart to aim at pple and asking them for reciepts, well there are kind pple ard and most imptly rich pple who spends 467 bucks in giant in a SINGLE reciept. WOW

i'll look forward to friday nite! with lightsticks, LED boards and sparklers, i'm gonna make her concert the most romantic and nicest she has even seen in any of her outdoor performance:))

then kster after tt cos we were bored, i went mad, i hope the videos would turn out fine, no unglam actions of me pls, and i got alot of unglam pics inside queen's cam whn we were at carl's junior,oh no.

some of u are good frens,but unforutnately, we belong to two different worlds cos i walk the straight road while u guys take the shortcuts and is always armed with daggers to stab on pple's back
basically,you're black while i'm white, i do things in front of others, while u do it behind

oh ya i'm gonna get real busy this time round, with mid sem round the corner and chioning projs, and on top of that, i got two jobs, one at dl during wknds and one at ice cream during wkdays, so do pray tt i can survive okay! i juz need those money seriously:(

i feel alot stronger when you're beside me

2006-11-16T15:12:00.000+08:00

okays i have been like MIA in sch for two days already and i am gonna get damn screwed with all my schwork. ha, think my GPA will drop from 3.33 to 2.22 perhaps if this goes on till dunno when.

have been feeling not very good these days, the doc says cos its cause of stress, my BP is lower, my body is too tired and he has given me soon pills to help me slp and not think so much. haha the pills are killer man, it made me slpt from 11pm to like 2 pm the nxt day feeling so weak and blur.

actually i didnt noe i was so stress, well i dun feel any, i juz felt depressed. ha, over my poor econs, my poor socio and cmi de jap. for other subs, i'm still okay i hope! *fingers crossed* sch has been real tiring for me i think, plus all the XYZ things that has been piling up on me.. it juz all comes tog like a bomb, sinking me down soon.

other probs are not really able to say it here, well its pte matters which i think shld be kept to my heart and bear it alone or rather, with the pple that are facing the same probs as me. its getting worst, really, the last thing ever i wanna be bothered abt is money and family. oh wells.

nth much has happen, it time to pull up my socks for all my subs, mid sem test is in a month's time, i cant stop thinking abt it, cos i felt that i studied nth for the past month, or rather, nth went into my mind for the past month.

no yanzi matters for me to fret over is good, no power and politics happening right now, at least thats better. its not good to be a good fren when u heard two sides of stories from all your frens who are supposed to be a clique. politics and way of handling things again, guess thats wad make me tired too.

"We look forward, sometimes we stay awhile on the spot to enjoy the scenery. But the world doesn't wait for us. So we have to keep going." - ahzi
its time to move forward and keep going

2006-11-08T23:28:00.000+08:00

wah, ms goh tagged me.. haha! thks for ya gummie bears! it gives me sore throats too =(

life has been not good these few days or rather for the past week, haven been feeling well at all, i've been getting gastrics and gastric flu, giddy spells, sore throat and worst of all... ^&*(^&*()_ migraine.. sucks big time.

gastric flu sucks too, it makes me bloated and feels like vomiting and burping everytime, the kar kar feeling will wake me up from my slp, then i cant slp anymore. lack of sleep causes my dumb migraine. i dun eat tt much now, sometimes i dun even eat anyth except for dinner cos i dun have the appetite to.

grrr, why not juz let me be severely sick for a few days then ?better than draggin on for like one week, sucks man. i dun even have the mood to go sch cos migraine will start whenever i think of sth or concentrate on lecs or boring tutorials. i was suffering like hell during ystd's econ's tutorial, tts why i was EXCEPTIONALLY quiet..hahhaha

when jiamin doesnt eat= she has gastrics
when jiamin doesnt talk or make noise= she's havin migraine
when jiamin doesnt talk and eat= she is not jiamin

hahah!
when jiamin ignores u and doesnt talk to u the way before = she is hurt by u
when jiamin talks and eats alot = she is well already!

hahaha this is so fun, i shall think of sentences like those nxt time.
when jiamin is bored= she plays with pens

okay the end, i cant think anymore, i fainting already.. ewww takkiare everyone!

oh iLOVEmyma, she rocks!:DDDD

2006-11-03T15:44:00.000+08:00

oh yea! i'm back to updating my poor blog again.. haha i see a lil cobwebs:) THIS IS A VERY LONG ENTRY!!!

these few days has been alright i guess, last week was juz ahzi and more ahzi. well after gcma, i realise frenships are soooo impt, it doesnt matter if ahzi knows me or wad, wad matters most is that i have good and close frens who will stand by me no matter wad. ahzi is juz an idol to me, yes she may love us as much as we love her, but she cant be our fren, its impossible.

selfishness is a broad word, u can interpret it as a good thing or a bad thing, it depends on yourself. to let your own selfishness break up a frenship, i think its not worth it, juz because of your own wans and selfishess, u would rather break up a frenship that is built over years and we have been through alot, doesnt that matter to u? its juz ahzi and more ahzi rather frens in the end, u selfish creep.

i chose not be selfish and irritating, if i chose to, u guys wun have a place to stand in rc that day. who are the freeking pple who stayed over juz to get a good place and look after all of your belongings when u all were waiting for ahzi durin her rehersals, and who the bloody hell went to leave the rocher bouquet on the floor and not looking after it?? ITS OUR PRECIOUS BOUQUET CAN, mayb u wun feel that way cos u didnt do it at all. sucks

juz becos of the bloody bouquet, i didnt get to see ahzi at all whn she waved to me in the van whn she left, cos i was concentrating on picking it up and making in look good whn ahzi juz waved at me and i didnt realise at all. and wad the shit hell, do u think u have the rights to say that u stood at the red carpet for dunno %^(*& hours and u are so tired? pls, who are the lugi ones? we stayed over and we werent in front! we were at the back holding on to things and we didnt complain at all, wad rights do u have to complain?

me,eve,kw,amanda,adeline and shihui didnt see the rc at all cos all of u were in front and blocking! and guess wad, me eve and kw stayed over! and we werent in front, its not abt being in front or not, if i wan to make things diff, i would have asked all of u to be behind already, forget abt taking pics or wad, i dun care, first come first serve, but we didnt. cos we didnt wan anyth bad to happen, and we wan queen to pass the bouquet to ahzi. SHUDDUP FREAKS.

okay i'm reacting like this cos i saw how other wrote abt gcma rc, how tired they are, how suay they are for not being able to see ahzi, WAD ABT US? think with your head, not your ass.

"Think before you say anything, because if you don't, it usually comes out wrong and unintentional. We wouldn't want that would we?No games. No politics. No mulling over what's lost or gained. We look forward, sometimes we stay awhile on the spot to enjoy the scenery. But the world doesn't wait for us. So we have to keep going." - ahzi

not that i dun love ahzi anymore, its juz that i think the frenships created in the fc is very precious, i treasure them alot. but i still love ahzi ya!!! juz that i wun hurt my frens juz because i wan to get close to ahzi.

ahzi is still as cute as ever, she gave us 3 flying kisses without us asking for it, wahah see!! she is loving us more and more after everyday. wahaha..

gcma nite was fun, from tonning overnite and getting bitten by those bloody mosquitoes, to knowing joey fc, to crying during rc cos if the tics to the running across from one end to another end of the red carpet, climbing up the drain without thinking of any consequences juz to pass ahzi the rocher bouquet, to holding hands tightly and holding on to each other when they annouce the winners, to laughing at my ma whn she was searching for me, to hand signalling to ahzi and seeing her awkward expressions were juz fond memories i had tog with the fc, or rather tog with queen,eve, kor, kw and zy:)

these few days were filled with tears and realisations, i've grown up abit after so many things happened. we'll be meeting up soon i guess after queen's exams, cos kor still has got the voucher! and i told him i wanna use it already!=D eating is my forte!I

both kor and i think that my tutor is very funny and cute.. wahaha..after that funny day and those convers, kor concluded again that she does not look like a lec at all!!! THATS YOU! MS GOH ,IF U HAPPEN TO READ THIS!hahaha

i seem happy now but sometimes my mood juz changes to dunno wad, ha, dun bring me up high for a while and throw me down to the bottom the nxt while, it hurts even more badly.

~~both of us are just too foolish; i duwan to regret and i hope u duwan too.~~

2006-10-27T18:05:00.000+08:00

okay due to overwhelming response, i shall update for abit.

after a few hours, i'll be over at indoor already waiting for my ahzi.. haha so wun be updating anymore till i come back.. or till i got the mood to update larh.. haha!!

sch's alright, i'm feeling damn high now cos the thought of seeing ahzi tmr gets me high.. wahah ahzi!!!!

okay i gtg soon le.. eve's coming over already i think!! see ya guys!! i'm a happier gal now!! =D

2006-10-15T15:46:00.000+08:00

my headache is gettin on my nerves, its getting worst everyday. mayb i'm thinkin too much, tts why.

slept at 2 sth this morning cos i cudnt get to slp. i was so fed up with my mum that i started screaming ard and throwing things. i'm damn irritated. everyth still boils down to money. without it, u cant do anyth. my wardrobe is so empty with a few shirts, i haven been buying cos i have no money. ya right u muz be thinkin, i'm working but why i got no money? cos my mum took it.

its irritating whn the money that u earn gets emptied by others, of cos i'll grumble whn she takes the money, but i let her take in the end wad, then in the end i cant buy anyth. those were hard earned money, freak fuck man. not as if i'm very happy working seriously. i'm hating my work and not gg to work more cos i hate it. i hate it like hell.

i'm planned to work with fucking pple everyday who doesnt do any fucking shit, in the end i hav to do it, they wrong i will get scolded, wad the fuck. who wudnt get tired of all these? i'm working till nxt week only. i love my job but i hate my colluegues.

family and work has given me probs, now wad, frens and guys are doing the same to me. i dunno who i could trust and who the hell is my fren. who is there whn i needed them? i hav lots of frens, but who are the true ones? who are the ones who will be with me? i dunno.

fc frens?sec sch?poly frens? i dunno. amanda has been ard talkin to me everyday, tryin to cheer me up, thanks for tt gal. too many things happening at the same time. i cant take it.

my migraine is up and i ~~slashed~~ again, it doesnt hurt cos its not deep at all. its nth. my head hurts badly now, gotta stop here then. there are still alot of unsaid things. i hate it.

2006-10-13T23:11:00.000+08:00

*meeps!* i've decided to update again after a few days.. haha

these few days were okayy.. ystd had dinner with ms chng, ym,elvis,naima and eli.. it was fun and nice to meet up after so long.. it has been ages since i met eli! haha she told me girl girl ran away, i was so mean to laugh at her cos girl girl always kajiao me whn i go eli's hse cos i always go and kajiao her. she muz have hated me like hell. (if u are wondering who is girl girl, she is eli's dog) haha!

ate at cartel then ms chng went off first, the rest of us went ard taking silly pics in PS cos PS has sooooo many mirrors ard, i totally went mad and i have alot of unglam pics in ym phone. i took a pic with ahzi and it looked kinda funny. i'm lazy to uplaod them, shall upload another time here then. then went arcade, i played like hell, somehow.. ha

saw someone who looks like him, he gave me the feeling of him whn i walked past at PS. oh wells..

then today went out with joan,wj,ben and wj's fren. went vivocity, its a nice shopping place to go if u really want to shop for clothes and u have the money to shop for them. it would be an enjoyable day there.

bought a shirt,haha a nike one.. not bad larh.. quite cute, saw alot of shirts that i wanted, but then i dun have the money to buy! life sucks eh...

life hasnt been well for me since like dunno whn. beneath all those smiles and laughter ,there is still a broken heart, a very lonely gal. i really feel very lonely at times even though there are pple ard me. its like lost in a crowded world. i realised i haven got really true frens whom i will talk to whenever i'm done. i dun have that kind of fren whom we are tt close till everyth i will tell him/her. wad a sad life.

i still cry at times for no reason cos i have no one to talk to. i hardly talk to my parents now, i dunno who to talk to.

where were u when i needed you?

i aint the person whom i used to know, i'm just not me.

2006-10-09T17:16:00.000+08:00

woohoo.. i haven been working for the past one week!! wow, i'm like not gg to have any income larh.. *sucks!!*

worked last mon, tues off(hmms wad did i do?) wed off also(went to see ahzi), thurs, fri and sat.. wahaha MC.. cos of that stupid dunno wad sickness.. sun off also.. did board.. today OFF again!!

i slept at 2 ystd or rather this morning and woke up at 4 juz now, so i have only been awake for juz one hr plus? hur this kinda life is gonna kill me slowly.. i duwan to work, i wan to slack adn do nth, but no work= no money.. ewwww..

i wanna change jobs but i will miss it alot.. i love working there, those dolphins are so real to u.. but working with ^&*()*&^ colleugeues makes the job tiring.. oh wells.

life has been good for me, or rather it has been monotonous for me. no ups and no particular downs, juz tt my N71 died on me. its kinda fixed now but i wan my N91, my mum says no.

xmas is 2 months away, can i send my wishes to santa now so tt he can prepare for it? santa i wan N91!! haha santa muz be thinkin that i'm so greedy.. oh wells. i juz wan love, true love from pple, not fake hypocrites who come whn they need u, go whn they find u useless.grrrrrr

till now i'm still confused over us.has it ended? i dunno. wads gg on? i dunno too.

2006-10-05T14:49:00.000+08:00

yea i'm sick! *shrugs* i hate being sick larh, i cant do anyth but juz rot at home..

my ulcers are getting bigger and stronger, they are killing me silently everyday.. i have two big ulcers on my lips and at the right side of my mouth, and one pending ulcer on my left side of the mouth.. now my whole mouth is numb..

my nose is like stuffed with cotton wool and my throat is like sandpaper rubbing against it..my eyes are like rabbits still,my body aches as if there is thousand hands pinching me..wow i sound as if i dying le..haha..

saw ahzi for the past few days, her get well soon has no effect on me.. and she calls me jiamin-g instead of jiamin. see ~~she condemns me~~ haha. went to st james power house de dragonfly ystd for the gcma press conf..

ahzi was pretty as usual larh.. but she seem very wrong and very blur ystd.. but cute larh whn she did the 'yo!yo!' hand sign.. but i still love her replies when she ans qns, its so her and she is so real.. how real can a person get ah? i dunno.. wad i know is ahzi is a real and sweet artiste that u cant find in other artiste de.

which artiste would sit down and sign and ask for your name when she sign things?how sweet, well although she sign some pple's things can dun ask for name jiu write, but its okay, well at least she ask and is true.

ystd at dragonfly was really nice, it was a show of true frenship between us and 933 management.muz really thank huishi and nix for giving us chance to go in and to go upstage to give ahzi mooncakes. now pple might think that i want to attract attention and get close to ahzi, well my conscience is clear, doubt me then, i have nth to fear.

before everyone came in, i was inside waiting for queen to get changed, then huishi came to ask us to ask ahzi qns, then i said okay, i'll ask the rest and we ask as a fc. then i told queen then we went out to meet eve. and sotong me, i totally forgot abt huishi then thankfully queen reminded me, so we went in. then nix ask us to look for cecilia cos they wan to look for pple to go upstage to ask ahzi qns.

so we went ard lookin for cecila, but we failed to cos it was too dark, then nix came to our rescue, so we had a talk with nix,cruz,huishi abt the qns and gg upstage thing. at first they only let one go up, and huishi asked me to but i have no rights, so i ask queen to go instead larh, cos she has every rights to go up..then in the end they said both go up, then okay lah.

so before everyth, huishi came over to discuss wad qns to ask ahzi, we asked a chim qns, but cruz ask le so we cant ask.. then thought of another one..quite well done larh, cos ahzi answered with chimilogy..hur.. think too dark, ahzi cant see me and queen cos we are both dark and tanned..

went up to give her, i didnt talk much, i was i/c of picking up things from the floor and look at ahzi..queen did the talkin..but we took a pic tog, i wasnt feeling high at all after that.dunno why. ~~i know more unhappy things are coming up soon, misunderstandings etc, the past is coming back~~

okay thats all, i'm feeling worst now.. may i not die before 28th.. pray hard for me ya?

ps: my couz thought i kena hand foot mouth disease..haha..

2006-10-02T23:04:00.000+08:00

another tiring day of my working day.. i had a real bad feeling the moment i woke up this morning, i knew sth wrong would happen..and sth really wrong happened today.. while on the train,recieved an sms from asnul telling me that he is gg to the docs, may be taking mc for the whole day..which leaves me and ~~yvonne~~ working DL and afternoon shift is xxxxx..

morning can nv have two persons,how to do swim+jtb with two pple?impossible.well i should say 1 1/2 person,cos the other party cmi..well luckily john came over to take over asnul's shift.. my morning was alrightt..swim went well.. then i had a hearty lunch with my damn heavy lunchbox..then i had another bad feeling again.. was chatting on the phone with azni for abt 45 mins, then recieved a call from xxxxx..
guess wad!!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
she called at 1.25 to say that she is having fever and WOW, u are supposed to work at 1, then u call at 125 to say that u are having fever,which kid are u kidding???

pls be more bloody responsible nxt time, wan lie also lie properly larh wah lau.. if u work at 1 will u wake up at 125 then realise u got fever?!?!?! no rite? u would obviously wake up earlier if u are planning to come to work but realise u got fever larh.. thats more logical rite? so the sceanario can be as follows:

1. u woke up early but dun feel like working, u are juz irresponsible, so decided to fake fake that u got fever and was nice to call at 125 to tell us u got fever, and not at erm 330?? thats already very good ehhh..
2.u overslept,so decided not to work so cock up with some ^*()&^% reasons
3.u juz cant be bothered

choose one then

can u sense my sacrasm??

i dun hate u as a fren, well i do love u but the thing is there is a diff btw frenship and work responsibilty. alrights u can say that i'm a bloody serious person.. but well u have to be responsible when u work rite? u dun work for fun, u dun work for nth, u work cos u love your job and has the passion for the job, if u dun have, juz quit pls.

i've been surrounded by useless pple everyday when i work in DL, in the end, i end up getting the SHIT, u know SHIT??? damn fuck can, i do everyth in the end, FUCK..

those who know i'm not that vuglar, i wun flare up easily but this is too much, we have to draw a line btw frens and work ba.. u can say that i'm a bad fren and a bad person, i dun care, but u do have to take responsibilty in everyth u do. i dun care how bloody close u are with the trainers, how good terms u are with them, i dun care, if u can work means u can work, if u cant means u cant, pls reflect.. i can say that i dun go ard tryin to talk to the trainers or to be in their good books. u can say i'm dao, cos i dun talk to trainers for nth, mayb thats why they are okay with me but not close.

i dun care, close or not close doesnt matter to me, when we work, they are they, we are we.. trainers are trainers, GSOs are GSOs, after work we can be good frens or wad but not during work, in conclusion, i dun boot lick..okay i am very mean over here, i cant tahan larhh..

well may the days ahead be better for me! tmr will be room packing day, wed will be ahzi day.. i shall clean up my room tmr, yes i will! :))

have i ever existed in your life?

2006-09-27T22:43:00.000+08:00

wow, i seem updating everyday eh.. dunno update for wad also..

well my eyes are very very red these few days, dunno why. may be cos of the excessive crying+ tired eyes+ my dry contacts.. it shld be so ba.. its very very red.. i may be blind soon! hurhur.. i'm like keep cursing myself lidat, always saying i'm like dying soon etc..

i haven got my directions right till now, i dunno where to head to, where to walk to.. its kinda confusing also ah.. i'm also working less now since i wan to rest and take time off.. but when i take the day off, i dun seem to be spending it fruitfully..

i wake up at 1sth, nv take lunch or breakfast, go online after i brush teeth etc.. then also dunno how i pass the time also..time slowly turns better when my parents are home..

well i have the best parents in this world..hur although we are not that rich, they cant provide me with my matertialistic needs but well.. they're still the best. my dad rang me juz now in the afternoon cos he's gonna go over to sentosa cove to deliver goods..

well sentosa cove is juz HEAVEN!! a place where i wan to be, when there is the sea in front of your house, where we are living now is earth, sentosa cove is heaven. the sea breeze, the sea in front of your house.. a place where i wan to run and escape to..

we seem to have lesser and lesser things to talk about, you're drifting further and further. i just wan us to be like before, i'm not asking anyth much, not asking u to hold my hands and run away to a faraway place where no one will find us.. i know its impossible.. it still hurts very badly though..

2006-09-26T23:39:00.000+08:00

it'll be a month in 21 mins time.. this month was nice and sour.. i had one and a half weeks of pure sweetness and two and a half weeks of torture.. it was heaven then hell.. where would i be in days to come?

i would really want to be in heaven and not ~~hell~~

i've been having alot of dreams these few nights, dunno why but its all revolving ard the same thing larh, which is WIERD!!!!! how can one have similar dreams in a few nights?!?! oh wells..

had quite a long day today.. went out with fc pple to buy materials for the making of gcma boards, then went ard hunting for ahzi de cd.. in the end the deluxe one not out yet, will only be out on fri.. grrrr..

ya then went ard walkin in town, particularly in lucky plaza SK, we spent quite some time in there talkin to the staff and crapping abt ahzi..wahah then i manage to get another reciept holder, thanks ester for that!! cos my dearest ahzi went to spoil my previous reciept holder.. but nvm! thats the only special reciept holder u can ever find in this world.. unless she did that to someone also larh..hahahha

then walk ard in paragon to look at bakerzin's mooncake cos wanna give to that aunty nxt wed.. then eat at wisma, crap there again.. we got tons of things to crap abt ahzi man.. from 4th oct to gcma red carpet etc..

its nice and lucky to be able to see her once a month.. we've been seeing her once every month, which is very good as compared to others le.. we're very lucky so learn to count our blessings!:)

2006-09-25T23:18:00.000+08:00

tears flowed again when i heard yutian.. gosh.. i've been in a very very low mood today, low until basement level..

i thought i would be okay soon but i doubt i am.. i always think that pple are dumb when i see them clinging on to sth that they are unsure of, but me myself is doing it now.. it getting worst and worst each day.. two more days

work today was bad i think.. i cudnt guide properly, cant concentrate properly.. but everyth was okay overall.. the otters are damn cute!! they have soft and tiny paws which are like baby hands, dally and danster one's are better than the 5 boys de..haha so sweet..

anw,finally finish work smoothly but hmms mood still very very low larh mayb cos no enough slp..

ya i wan to complain!! wah lau ahzi made me woke up at 730am today whn i work at 1 and i can slp until 11.. wanted to listen to 933 for the 4th oct details.. gosh mali and ma really knows how to drag things, they only annouce the details at like 930?!?!?!? i was awake for 2 hrs listening to radio!! but okay lah at least i caught the method to win the tickets.. and got details.. not bad larh..

then i was so tired like hell, cant possibly slp at 10 adn wake up at 11!! so came online to give details etc.. then i went work with blood-shot eyes, they said my eyes were bloody red..hurr

very jialat larh, i've been tryin to bury myself in fc stuff adn work so that i wun have much time alone to think abt sooooo many things.. but i thought of ALOT in the end..

i was thinking, i work everyday so hard for wad? whn i work everyday, i dun have time for myself, my frens etc.. if i dun work, i wun have money.. money is impt in this world now, ya i may seem so money faced, but come to think of it, alot of things u would need money to buy de lor.. if u have no money u cant buy them..

anw, was thinkin, why shld i work so hard like shit when there are like %^&*()_ assholes working tog with us but not doing anyth.. they are juz useless, they come to waste time and make us angry but they get paid in the end like us, why shld i be the 'useful' worker instead of 'useless' ones? we get paid in the end, useless pple juz sit and do nth all day, they are not tired at all, but bloody us have to slog our hearts out and get ourselves so tired..

ya i do think alot.. okay yes i do.. i very emo today larh, watch show also can cry, its like so wad the hell..
为什么两个相爱的人不能在一起呢？可能是因为他不再爱她了。但她还是依然爱着他 .

我的泪还在流，心还在滴着血。心碎了，你听到了吗？好想回到从前那段快乐的日子，我们两快乐的一起过日子，天上没星星，但都觉得天空是为了我们而亮起，因为我们是天身一对。不管别人怎么看，我们活在我们的童话世界里。

好想听你说，我们回到过去的日子吧，一起看到更多美丽的明天。我还在等待，希望你会说给我听。我只听你的甜言蜜语，不听你说你不爱我。

wah wah!! i can go write books!! very good rite?? not bad ah?? :))

2006-09-21T21:53:00.000+08:00

dun ever comment on shows which u think are dumb, cos u will end up doing the things that they did which u think are dumb in the end. i always tot that waiting for someone is dumb in shows but sometimes u have to see if tt person is worth it or not..

wad is shown in drama is all dramatic. it wun happen in real life, dun believe in lies, its all virtual reality that will not happen.. they are all lies.. hurhur, wah i critise until like everyth is so cham lidat..wahaha make sure no scriptwriters see my this post..hahah

wad love drama, korean, japanese drama or wadever dumb dramas are all fake de larh.. it wun happen de lor, dun believe in it..hur.. u'll juz keep on dreaming abt it..haha

i shld go film ahzi de yutian's mv larh.. i'm so suitable.. yutian has been the only song that is playing in my phone everytime i on my music player, every morning whn i go work, it will juz keep on playing and playing, the scenes came into mine, all those juz came rushing back., its good larh, cos i wun be able to cry in the MRT or sth, so its good..

when will everyth be okay? i duwan it to end, thats not the way i wan it to be..nah nvm, life goes on still isnt it? tues is the day to look forward to.. i was looking forward to tmr cos ahzi album release but realise only releasing on tues.. life still goes on but its juz messy ard

realise sch hol is long, i've been working non stop for 3 weeks already! besides working i also dunno wad to do during hols, shopping? gg out? dating? haha non of the above leh..haha takkiare dudes. i'll be alright! thks for all those tags, i will be okay soon! i love u guys

2006-09-19T21:41:00.000+08:00

is it all over?

everyth is like a negative, whn its exposed to sunlight, the negative spoils. juz like my heart, it got hurt and its dead now. do i have to use past tense for all the memorise we've got?

its even more hurting than before when u said its over, rather than hanging on and hoping that there would be a glimpse of hope.

the hurt that is inflicted now is much more hurting than wad i was going through that time.

the first tear which i dropped whn i saw the change in the words you said and the change in that website.

2006-09-18T21:53:00.000+08:00

for once, i hate ahzi's new song.. okay hate in terms of the lyrics and the situation i am in.. she sings it damn well with her superb feelings. the song is nice, really but its an ultimate tear jerker song for me now, the lyrics describes fully the situation i am in now.

雨天
作词∶小寒作曲∶李偲菘

站在十字路的交点
该怎么走
我却只想回头
除了你给的伞
我再也没有
别的借口去拥有你的什么

你能体谅我有雨天
偶尔胆却你都了解
过去那些
大雨落下的瞬间
我突然发现
谁能体谅我的雨天
所以情愿回你身边
此刻脚步
会慢一些如此坚决
你却越来越远

牵手和分手来自同一双手
做回朋友我却为何不懂挽留

你能体谅我有雨天
偶尔胆却你都了解
过去那些大雨落下的瞬间
我突然发现
谁能体谅我的雨天
所以情愿回你身边
此刻脚步
会慢一些如此坚决
你却越来越远

是否太晚
路已走远
我的眼眶泪太满
走不回你身边

你能体谅我有雨天
偶尔胆却你都了解
过去那些大雨落下的瞬间
我突然发现

谁能体谅~我的雨天~
此刻脚步会慢一些如此坚决
你却越来越远

2006-09-16T22:57:00.000+08:00

ultimate tear jerker songs for me by ahzi, top ten sad songs:

1. LEAVE
2.WO BU NAN GUO
3. HEN HAO
4.HAI PA
5.LEAVE ME ALONE
6.YAN LEI CHENG SHI
7. KAI SHI DONG LE
8.YING XIN REN
9.WO BU AI
10......
.
.
.
.
.
.
the ultimate one
.
.
.
.
YUTIAN

they are not placed according to order but they are the ten songs i shldnt listen to now, cos every song has a sentence that activates my tear glands and make me tear. in my kind of situation larh, no one noes wad situation i'm in but, if u do, pls dun listen to the ten songs listed above..

heard leave, ylcs,leave me alone, hai pa on the mrt RANDOMNLY in the mrt in the morning, i played randomnly, and those songs were played, is it fated?? HAI PA was the most jialat one, i could feel my nose turning itchy, eyes funny funny then i saw a tear in my eyes, a blur circle in front of my eyes ON THE MRT!!!!

but i managed to ctrl.. haha then now i heard yutian, oh my god, this is juz nerve wreaking and tear jerking song.. pls dun listen whn you are sad, HIGHLY FLAMMABLE, VERY DANGEROUS, MAY CAUSE EXPLOSIVE REACTION..

yutian one min ver

你卻越來越遠
是否太晚
路已走遠
我的眼眶淚太滿
走不回你身邊

你能体諒我有雨天
偶爾膽卻你都了解
過去那些大雨落下的瞬間
我突然發現

誰能體諒
我的雨天
此刻腳步會慢一些
如此堅決
你卻越來越遠

2006-09-15T22:09:00.000+08:00

hurhur juz saw my work schedule today.. wahahaha from today onwards until nxt fri, i'll be working DL EVERYDAY!!! which is like 9 to 6.30 pm EVERYDAY! wahahaha soon u'll see a tanned and dry jiamin.. or rather a tired, dried and tanned sotong..hahaha

read her blog, she ended her story before me. very soon i'll have s similar post as her.. i wonder how long i can take it, how long i can last, how long more before i give up. i'm not giving up now larh.. i wun wan to..

爱情树: 张智成

我不要你在我身边
却看着蓝天
不看我的脸
我但愿你快乐的飞
将来要相爱都还有时间
风开始在吹
孤独好直接
爱最苦的是不能相依偎
然而我会等着你你
回来的季节
我的爱情是一棵树
永远不会离开一步
风雪多残酷我想我挺得住
我的生命是一棵树
只愿成为你的归宿
我义无反顾
守护你是最大的幸福
最深的温柔是成全
我张开双臂
任凭你来回
最痛的时候就思念
扎了根的心
不可能撤退
风开始在吹
孤独好直接
爱最苦的是不能相依偎
然而我会等着你回来的季节
我的爱情是一棵树
永远不会离开一步
风雪多残酷
我想我挺得住
我的生命是一棵树
只愿成为你的归宿
我义无反顾
从日落到日出~oh~
我的爱情是一棵树
永远不会离开一步
风雪多残酷
我想我挺得住~oh~
我的生命是一棵树
只愿成为你的归宿
我义无反顾
守护你是最大的幸福

2006-09-14T22:38:00.000+08:00

i was high ystd over my results ah.. but today jiu low le.. sucks leh my GPA is 3.33 NIA!! wth!! its not very high larh..

haha my expectations was like 3.6??? ya but abit impossible larh, unless all my subs are like Z or As larh.. heh nvm its okay i'll be okay after tonight..

i'm juz too highly competitive larh, cos i nv get Z mah, then abit sad larh.. okay i know i'm not smart larh but oh wells.. there's still no z for me.. hur =( btw Z is dist which is better than A..

went out with derick,joan,roseann and ben today.. shop ard orchard.. went ard to find that ^&*()&^ X_LARGE shop.. in the end, dun have the cap i wan.. but i saw a jacket which i like! haha shall save for it, watched little man.. oh gosh, sucks man so lame larh.. waste my money.. haha

other than this, nth to update leh.. haha tmr another working day for me! oh ya juz now they were saying that i'm so tanned now! i look like indian now larh! but seriously i looked damn tanned now.. i'm so dark, i think i need to carry a torch with me whenever i go out nxt time..

oh no! then if sch reopens, i'll be more tanned larh, then no one can recognise me anymore.. cos i'll look 100% like indian, hahaha i shld go whitening soon..wahah

tata! tats all for today, takkiare guys and gals who read this! love loves!!

2006-09-13T22:52:00.000+08:00

i'm happy today!!*beams* hahahaha here are my long awaited results:

org beh: B
BCS:B+
Commskill:B
Mircoecons:B
RHT:B+
APEL1:P
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

and intro!!!!!!!!!!!!

guess wad!!

intHt:A!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

wahaha i'm so so so so happy over my intro!! i got my A back okayyyy pple, from A to B and from B back to A.. ahaha hard work does pay off de..

got the results sms this afternoon while working larh, lucky it was good, if not i will have no mood to work anymore, and its like i saw it at 2 sth when there is 2 more shows down before i knock off..haha

but other subs, okay larh i'm sooo surprised by my BCS, oh my god to think i got a B+ larh, got that + sign somemore leh! i got a weak A for my BCS projs, then my paper is cfm cannot make it de larh, also dunno wad i write, but dunno why it turned out to be a B+, BUSINESS COMPUTING SKILLS LEH!! oh my god..

RHT another funny one larh.. B+ also, haha one sub which i dunno wads gg on up till now and i got a B+ for that.. haha, quite sad for commskills, i tot i cud get an A for tt, cos proj A, then my tests all A leh, think my presentation or wad pulled me down larh.. dunno!econs, haha can get B already very good le.. OB, okay larh, cos we did very badly for proj, think C or sth larh, then 65% of my total marks depends on my final paper wad, so gettin a B for overall can mean that i got a B for paper larh, so okayy larh.

i'm happy over my results:)

one thing to say, hard work does pay off, if u put ya heart and soul into achieveing ya goals, nth is impossible :) i said i will get my A back for intro, and i did!!=D

ps: ms goh! i got my A back wor!! hahahaha (put for fun de larh, juz to haolian nia!)

juz emailed ma a few days ago telling her everyth is going on very fine for me, she was happy for me larh, haha i hope this kind of life stays on, so i'll be happy everyday, go work or go sch, come home, slack sleep, rest.. haha nice life eh??

~~but there's always an empty hole in my heart cos i'm still waiting for u to come and occupy the space, i'm waiting.~~

2006-09-12T16:55:00.000+08:00

yes yes everyone i've got a new blog!! haha cos i forgot my previous blog username and pswrd, so decided to create a new one instead..

haha it'll juz be a plain and simple one, update here whn needed lor.. this is an open blog anyway, got another one which is erm.. haha private i think?!?!

didnt go work for two days, so got nth better to do at home, so created this new blog here larh.. haha tired of work somehow.. i dun understand why there are stupid pple ard working and they are juz useless? nvm i shall not complain that much, i'm juz a part-timer yea?? haha but i love my job, really..haha

results gonna be released on thurs.. wahahah i'm not at least a bit worried i also dunno why. cos i have been busy with work ba i think.. haha i was reminded of it when i saw ms goh's nick, which is yes my darlings, results are out this THURSDAY. then ben came and talk to me abt it, then i remembered..hurhur.. we shall see on thurs if i manage to get any A not.. haha

i juz told my mum that i'm very happy with life now, am i?? i seem to be happy with it larh, i have a job, i can get to rest at home, ahzi is releasing her album soon, i get to crap with fc frens in conver nowadays.. but i juz lack that you, that particular you that i know on 27th aug

i wun presurise u or to dunno wad larh, u need time, then i shall give u, but sometimes in life, u juz need an ans to everyth. i know my own feelings, i know it best myself, dun let history repeat itself again ba..

well so long guys i got nth more to update le haha !! oh anw, yutian is juz simply nice.. ahzi new song, listen le will cry ah..